A personal note about the artwork

This might be the most vulnerable artwork I’ve ever made. I didn’t realize how much these reading performances would hurt. Until I read these words out loud, specifically to Tahltan Elders/Children/Community members, I didn’t realize the culture of silence that sits around these types of English words. These English words sit silently inside of 100-year-old structures, and sitting inside of those untouched structures protects those English words, and the ‘ideas’ that they hold on to so desperately. It was hard to read these English words out loud, because they are very specific and designed to make the history of our knowledge(s) disappear.

Now, because these words are protected by historical silences, I feel vulnerable because my own words, spoken in-between their words, are raw— they are on the surface of my body, and aren’t as careful as I would have liked. So many of us have developed our own strategies for speaking back, because we have had to. Those strategies are based on care, and being careful. Reading their words out loud also helped me to experience the Tahltan value systems that stood at odds with their historical and imposed views. Reading their English words out loud helped me to realize that my spoken voice became an echo of those original Tahltan storytellers/knowledge leaders. Listening helped me to hear our Tahltan value systems.  

In the Emmons text:

I was reading about how the Tahltan people took slaves. It was the way that this slavery was described that made my head explode a bit. He wrote that our Ancestors took slaves, but also how those captives usually become active contributors to the community. My head exploded again when I realized that Emmons came from a culture that benefitted from the exploitation of enslaved African peoples. He was writing what he knew or had witnessed in his culture and imposing those views/values on top of our culture(s). The owning of slaves by the Western/European cultures was still very active in their being. Canada ended slavery in the 1800s. The United States ended Slavery in 1865. The first enslaved African people were forced to touch down in these territories now known as Canada in 1862, and in The United States in 1619. It’s also important to be clear that we are talking about Chattel Slavery. This means that people were stolen from their homes/territories, and sold as property. It’s also important to acknowledge that part of this was written down on Juneteenth – June 19th.  This day acknowledges the emancipation of Black folks from slavery. The official date is June 19, 1865. Two years after the emancipation proclamation. And let’s not forget that Canada and The United States followed up emancipation with over 100 years of segregation. The description from the Emmons book about Slavery was at odds with Tahltan worldview/ ontology because our system made a space for these folks to become part of our community, a part of our families, and active contributors to our cultural systems/structures. 

Also from the Emmons text:

The conclusion that non-Indigenous writers often come to texts like these, is how young daughters were sold and were the property of their parents. Once again, this is a value system, rooted in European histories, being imposed overtop of Indigenous systems rooted in these territories. Emmons described daughters being the property of their Fathers, and how their Fathers would sell their daughters in marriage. There is also something about reading these structures out loud and feeling incredibly robbed by them. It’s funny to admit, but I didn’t realize how much these written structures are reified by the historical silence(s) that surround them. We tell ourselves that this was 100 years ago— things have changed now; and we say this to ourselves, knowing how much work we’ve done to be free of these structures. I’ve been taught to trust those English words, to rely on their ‘apparent’ expertise, to help guide my silent reading. It’s a lot to admit, and luckily I have the power to change. 

From the Stone recordings:

The final part of the last recording was tough to get through. It wasn’t a lot of pages to read out loud. It was difficult because of when it was written down. It was difficult because of Stone’s opinions about our people. It was difficult because he didn’t seem to care that our people had just survived two pandemics. I don’t know why I wanted to trust him so badly. What made it really difficult was he wrote that an Indian Residential School would save our people.  *And for this reason, I would recommend not listening to the last Stone recording until you are ready. It was hard to read out loud. I almost stopped reading because we know how much damage Indian Residential schools did to our people. His belief that our people needed this ‘school’ was too difficult. But I didn’t stop reading out loud because I had made an agreement to read everything.